Five things that are money stresses in a marriage and tips that could help manage that stress

Disagreements regarding a spouses spending habits

Good Housekeeping magazine (2015) says that “90%” of arguments occur within a marriage is due to finances.  These statistics are soaring and is an area that every couple should give their undivided attention.  If you are uncomfortable with your spouse’s spending habits, do your best to address it.  Your spouse may be unaware that you have a problem.  An unresolved money matter can do more damage than good.  Seek help from a trusted financial counselor to act as a mediator on this subject or perhaps couple’s therapy could be an option.

Lack of communication

While communication is not a “cure-all” for a couple’s money arguments; communicating is essential.  If you are not currently communicating with your spouse about your financial goals or concerns for your family’s future; now is a great time to start.  Move financial discussions out of the bedroom to the kitchen table.  Your bedroom should be a place of peace and not tug of war over money.  Once you have agreed upon a date and time to discuss your financial future; show up and be prepared to listen until it is your turn to speak.  Remember to be honest and avoid becoming defensive; you are on the same team.

Spending to get even with your spouse

Using money as a weapon against your spouse is the same as using it against yourself.  Spending it in the heat of the moment will probably feel good; however, at the end of the day you will both have unwanted, heated, pillow and $$$ talk.  The best defense for money fights is finding a different means of cooling down and to think with a clear head.

Keeping money secrets

Keeping secrets is the worst defense mechanism for getting back at your spouse when you are angry.  Keeping secrets is a sure indicator that there are serious trust issues.  Deceit could and possibly will destroy your relationship.  Avoid allowing money secrets in the driver’s seat on your journey to financial wellness and freedom.

Separating income and expenses

Separating household income and splitting expenses is something that many couples have chosen to do.  It is each couple’s decision to determine the best method of operation for their household and most importantly have a clear understanding why you feel it works for you.  Splitting income and expenses could cause discourse in your relationships.  First, a divided household cannot stand.  Second, when one person is without money and the other person still have money but is not sharing; that causes fights.  When there is more month than money, arguments happen.  There are so many variables that can happen, you can fill in the blank.  Remember that communication is essential, but is not a “cure-all” for financial related stresses.  Choose to find common ground and discuss what works best for your household and your marriage/relationship.

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